breakdown

"i'm pregnant."

two words
that can hold so much
joy
but yet so much
ammunition
when fired at you
unintentionally.

the questions come:

why not me?

i thought that
sex + ovulation day = baby?

why can fourteen-year-olds
have healthy pregnancies,
but my baby died?

why did my water break early?

why couldn't she wait just
a few more days?

why?
why?
why?
why?
why?

self-pity.
self-loathing for the fact that you're
not entirely happy.
guilt.
anger.
impatience.

warning:
nervous system overload.
shutting down in
three...
two...
one...